&wee bit sad
So I hadn't tried acid again since the last entry I wrote on this journal about my first trip. Partially due to not being able to obtain any, and also because I was afraid I would have another bad trip. Even though I kind of realised the bad trip was due to my surroundings last time.
Last Friday was the Twisted Records label party. It was a pretty outstanding show and I got to see a few of my favourite artists, including Ott, Younger Brother, ZubZub, Shpongle and Eat Static. Near the beginning of the night a guy approached me and asked if I wanted some "TCB" or something similar. I asked what it was and he said "man-made mescaline". I was interested. I asked Joe if he wanted some and if he could pay for it with the money he owed me because I couldn't find my cash at that point. Well he ended up getting us two tabs of acid each instead, which the guy had also made himself. I wasn't complaining.
I took the first one a few hours before Shpongle in the hope it would be all I'd need and would be tripping by the time Simon was on stage. I definitely felt something but it wasn't exactly tripping. During the Shpongle set I dropped the second tab. In the next few hours I started to feel it a lot more strongly. I wasn't really getting any kind of visual distortions or hallucinations but in my mind, I felt like I was tripping. It was quite enjoyable, though I got the fear a few times very slightly.
After the gig, which ended at 6am, we sat in a skatepark and smoked a few pipes, then walked around Brixton in search of somewhere to get breakfast. It's not a good idea to take acid and then walk around Brixton. Not a good idea at all. The homeless were incredibly intimidating and wouldn't stop bothering us for money even after we gave them some. My friend Joe was also on acid and 4 pills of ecstacy. Needless to say - we were frightened.
As we walked around the dingy streets and marketplace that was just opening, I got a sense of what these areas were like. Dead animal carcusses at butcher's stalls were not a pretty site or smell at 7 in the morning. Men trying to sell us weed in such an open way were obviously just trying to rip us off. Everyone seemed to be out to get something from us. They would have stabbed us just to take our change they were that desperate.
We couldn't get change for our tube tickets for ages but then we finally got out of Brixton. But the whole city seemed to have a strange atmosphere about it. This was not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Everywhere around us were the constant sounds of the hustle and bustle of people, roadworks and traffic. This place seemed to be nothing but the heart of capitalism and terrifying greed. The high street shops sickened me. Along with their meat markets they had the other kind of meat market... Loaded has their very own shop and we also walked past a place selling fur coats, hilariously named "Noble Furs"...
We went to Hyde park for a while to chill out. It was amazing to see all the trees and greenery in that state of mind. So much more comforting than huge city streets and constant busyness. We smoked a few pipes there and just chilled out. It was rather enjoyable. Then my friends wanted to go for a walk. Walking through the park was nice. I felt... just good. We saw loads of squirrels running around. They weren't afraid of us, they came so close. I've never really seen a squirrel before. I still didn't seem to be getting my visual changes or hallucinations but the grass and the leaves seemed to be ...bright. Then I entertained the idea that perhaps they didn't really look any brighter at all, I was just appreciating them on a whole new level.
At this point my feet had started to hurt, I think it's because my boots are a size too big for me and my feet slide around in them too much, causing blisters. I ended up with blisters all over my feet and every step was pure agony. This was really not good on acid..
Eventually I felt like all the negative energy, hurt and pain that was left forever marked on the streets of London was being channelled through the pain in my feet as I walked. I could sense all the pollution in the air and it was like I was breathing in all the horrible energy. Consuming it and letting it flow through all of me. It didn't feel nice. I couldn't understand why or how anyone could live in this place, then contemplated how it perhaps suits some people and what that says about us as a species. It really made me thankful for what I have and glad that that kind of place was not one I'd want to stick around too long. The only way I could get comfortable was to lie down in a park under a tree and fall asleep.
I really wish I had brought a notebook along with me as I hate trying to recall all the thoughts and feelings I had at the time, and I hate trying to recreate all the profound conclusions I came to. I'll know better for next time though. And I'm certain there will indeed be a next time. I enjoyed what that acid got me tapped into, and I definitely would like to try it again somewhere closer to home.